A few weeks ago my friends
experienced the sudden and tragic death of their four year old daughter Mikayla. When I received the news, a profound sadness
overwhelmed me. I vacillated between
grief and simply being numb. I couldn’t
wrap my mind around this, it was too surreal. The only thing I could do was pray. I understand that there is power in prayer,
but I must admit that there were moments when I desperately wished that I could
do something else to fix this situation.
As I began to pray for the parents and extended family, I found myself
asking God to show me the lesson. I was compelled to learn something from a
situation that was so undeserved, so completely mind boggling, so painful. Over the past few weeks, through the
sentiments expressed from others and my own memories of Mikayla, that is
exactly what God has done. I’d like to
share some of the lessons I learned from a four year old.
1.
Be
Present in the Moment
For such a
small frame, Mikayla had a huge personality.
Her infectious laugh, bright eyes, radiant smile and raspy voice were
undeniably heartwarming. Whenever she was
present, it was known. There is one
particular instance that came to mind as I listened to her teachers give their
reflections on Mikayla as a student. Their
memories pointed me to a personal encounter I had with Mikayla when she was
just an infant. She was attending church
with her father. He was about to make a
presentation from the pulpit and he passed her to me for me to hold. I can’t even remember what he was talking
about, because I was captivated by those eyes.
I know most babies look around with a certain curious wonder about what
they are seeing, but Mikayla looked as if she was really taking it all in. It wasn’t just wonder but intentional, careful
observation, it wasn’t simple curiosity, but rather it was more of a scientific
examination and then she did it….she smiled. I was sold on this precious being. I believe we shared a God moment – realizing the
awesome power of creation and life. As a baby, Mikayla knew how to not just see
her surroundings, but see into them. Mikayla
taught me the importance of being aware of where I am and with whom I share
those moments/that space.
2.
Ask
Questions
During the
funeral, many people expressed the same sentiment about Mikalya. She was certainly inquisitive. She asked
questions, but she also had the ability to connect those answers to other
realities/experiences. I want to believe
God used her probing nature to inspire the eulogist. He took his text from Psalm 22 and raised the
question, as did the psalmist, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken
me?” I was encouraged and I believe
others were enlightened by his message.
For during the days leading up to the service, I held conversations with
several friends about this tragic circumstance. Many said that they knew we
were not supposed to question God, but they were trying to find some answer to
why this happened. My response to them
was that we can indeed ask questions of God and we should ask questions of God,
especially in light of times/situations we don’t understand. The eulogist took the same stance. He told the congregants that in times like
these we need to ask God questions. It
is in the process of asking the questions that we rid ourselves of the pain,
doubt and the frustration that can keep us from the only one who is able to
comfort us. While I cannot understand
why Mikayla was taken away so abruptly, I can understand why I need God. I need God because life presses us, life
troubles us, and life presents us with conundrums and difficulties beyond our
capacity to grasp. When I’m in these
spaces, I need to be able to ask the Creator of all things – why? Even if the answer never comes, in the asking
I yield myself to be open to God’s presence. Mikayla taught me to ask questions
and to seek to connect the answers to greater realities.
3.
Celebrate
Life
One of her instructors described how much Mikayla loved dance. She stated that Mikayla would go into the
bathroom and change into her dance uniform and once she did she would dance all
the way down the hall back into classroom.
I love to dance, but I realized how little I do it. Life gets in the way. As we grow older, we become more cognizant of
who may be watching us. We allow disappointments
and frustrations to take the place of joy and happiness. I’m more determined, through the brief life
of Mikayla to celebrate- take the time to revel in the small things and dance. There
are blessings that we encounter everyday that are worth celebrating. Mikalya taught me that life may be too short
to miss the small things, so while I have the opportunity I will dance down the
hall in spite of who may be watching.
I hope that everyone who reads this blog will be impacted by Mikayla, no matter if you knew her or not. I hope the memories of her that I've shared with you will cause you to be reflective on your own lives. Precious, princess Mikayla your life, in my opinion, was way too short
but nevertheless impactful. During your
four years, you taught the adults in your life great lessons. That was a great burden for such a small
being, but “well done, little one, well done.”
Keep your eye on us from that heavenly perspective and remind us to be
good to one another. You are forever in
our hearts.
Abounding in Love and Growing in Grace,
Veronica
